This applies to men as well!
Whatever life rules you choose to live by, KNOW who you are. Remember the saying “know what you believe in or you’ll fall for anything.” There is so much nonsense going on in the world today on all levels of our lives. It almost seems inescapable, doesn’t it?
In terms of our relationships ….. know what you believe is and isn’t an acceptable behavior. Of course if you are already married and one day wake up thinking “who is this person in my bed?” …… well that’s another blog topic. The point of THIS blog is …… pay attention to nonsense as defined by you and you alone.
Bye bye ….. garage bound!
I had been using a pretty pink walker that was a bit too short because I couldn’t stand up when rising out of bed for quite a long time (2015) and needed the support until my legs got started walking. I switched to this one when I had the walking accident last year.
My first post about leg pain and a drug called Simvastatin was on May 9, 2015. There is nothing that can alter my thinking that all those struggles were caused by this drug. I FINALLY am free of the thigh pain that had me feeling like I was wheel-chair bound. The research reads that it can take years before the debilitating effects of Simvastatin subside and it did take years! I praise God I wasn’t one of the unfortunate ones for whom the side effects are permanent.
If you have odd physical struggles, find a doctor who will listen to you and WORK with you to find the cause and solution. Be your own best advocate!
I’ve heard people talk about loneliness a lot lately ….. both men and women ….. statements like “I’m so lonely I can’t stand it” or “I’m so lonely being by myself” or “I’m so lonely without someone to love” and usually followed by tears or sobs. Of course I have a few thoughts about that!
First, I know folks and I used to be one ….. who are married and still complain about loneliness so having a partner or roommate doesn’t necessarily cure the ailment!
Second, I don’t know about you, but at the end of a long workday …… coming home to peace and quiet is a welcomed gift from the craziness and stress of the world we all live in every day. If your home isn’t your haven, what could be done to make it so ….. declutter? New paint job? Rearrange things a bit? Add some candles, pillows, throws?
Third, what thoughts occupy the voids in your mind when you are home alone? Do you focus on your blessings or on your mistakes and/or misfortunes? Do you consider solutions or do you prefer staying stuck in your own muck?
Fourth, what about hobbies and/or interests? Go for a walk in your neighborhood and say hello to your neighbors …… maybe even make a new friend. Do something for exercise. Get a second job if you have too much free time on your hands. Volunteer to help an organization that serves the elderly or needy. Try a new recipe and invite a friend over for dinner. Read a book or take up a new language or open your Bible. Teach yourself to meditate. I know you could help me think of more, ideas, right?
Fifth, opening your heart to a four-legged friend could be the best decision of your life if you go about it with the idea that it’s a forever commitment. I’ll say it again ….. only if you’ll be the animal’s forever home!
Finally …… remember you are not alone. As long as you are out and about every day you are always surrounded by other people. To what extent you engage is your decision. Don’t compare yourself to others because most people have something going on in their lives they wish wasn’t going on ….. know what I mean? So turn your loneliness into productive time for yourself in this journey you are walking. Being a one man/woman show usually doesn’t last forever.
I’ve always been a queen of just-because statements, and these are good ones too! How about this one from Joel Osteen this morning: “Just because our body ages doesn’t mean our thoughts and attitudes have to.”
So ….. Are you withering away as the years go by OR how do you keep yourself young at heart?
As long as we have people in our lives in any capacity (and who doesn’t), drama and conflict are inevitable. When we face relationship adversity, I can’t help but wonder if life could be so much more simple and happier if we merely remember “just stick to the facts and not to the emotions.”
How might you imagine the outcomes of any stressors in your relationships might be different if you did?
“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are ….. or, as we are conditioned to see it.”
(Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change)
And sometimes I think to myself “If you could see you like I see you, you wouldn’t be doing what you’re currently doing” (thanks Andy Stanley) ….. Only because I’ve been there ….. done that ….. and I know it’s a path to no-wheres-ville! And just because I think it doesn’t mean I’ll say it ….. aka “filtering” …… we all have to learn life’s lessons on our own.
As I reflect on this holiday season and the upcoming new year, I can’t help but to also review this past year. Not in a sense of ruminating there; just asking myself what could I have done differently.
I had a most challenging year because of that fall I took last February that took me a good 7-8 months to recover from probably because of my age. Same for a broken finger and injured hand ….. three times as long to heal as a young person. So I didn’t do a lot of what I wanted to do this year.
When I ponder this photo, I think that if I could accomplish number 1, number 5 will be the natural and logical consequence. Number 1 will require tremendous courage on my part ….. courage and faith believing I would be doing what I’m supposed to do …… perhaps even following a preordained path for my life ….. ?!?
What are YOUR thoughts about how this photo strikes you?
When will you start to live differently?
Although I’m not yet where I want to be in this life, and I miss my loved ones with whom I used to share this day ….. I’m THANKFUL I’m not where I used to be and for the beautiful memories of Thanksgivings gone by.
How about YOU ….. what are you thankful for today?
2016 has been a challenging year at best for me as it took me close to five months to totally recover from a stage 3 lacerated liver injury. On top of the motion restrictions and physical exhaustion that accompanied my recovery, I have had a broken middle finger since the end of May which has imposed even more minor annoyances on my ability to perform even menial tasks and my independence in general. My dear friend who has made himself available to help me is surely getting weary of the “can you come over and help me with ___” text messages by now!
What I’ve learned these past many months is that most people I know have no clue about how to encourage AKA support AKA help one another, and this truth makes me sad. It’s one thing to text a message that says “hope you are better today” and quite another to text “I’m coming over to walk your dog today” or “I’ll come over and vacuum the house for you” or “leave your dishes in the sink and I’ll come over and take care of them for you this evening” or “I’ll bring you a nice meal this afternoon” or “what groceries can I pick up for you today?” or “We will bring you some tennis balls for your walker” or even “I’ve been praying for you” ….. Do you get the point? I found myself feeling depressed because I felt so isolated and forgotten by some who title themselves as friends on one hand, and on the other hand just wrote their absences off as “well everybody is busy and has their own lives to deal with” which is true for certain. But are we not called to help and encourage one another and even make time for others when assistance is genuinely needed?
I also think of husband and wife relationships …… specifically about how I so often hear “he doesn’t help me around the house” or “she does a terrible job of keeping up on house cleaning” …… Sound familiar to which I ask “are we not to serve one another?”
So when I heard Charles Stanley’s message this morning, I thought here it is ….. well said, and I’m going to share my thoughts once and for all along with his suggestions on how to encourage one another. He started with “We all need to be encouragers because we live in a world filled with discouraged people” to which I say “Amen!” and I’m going to actively work at being better about encouraging others myself! Join me!
Here’s how he said can be an encouragement to others:
1. By a sincere compliment
2. Always tell them the truth
3. Agree with them when appropriate
4. Pass on information to them that is helpful
5. Pray for them
6. Quote an appropriate scripture verse
7. Correct them when appropriate (with gentleness)
8. Tell them that you love them (from your heart)
9. Comfort them when they need it.
10. Assure them of your availability
11. Say thank you
13. Be quiet while they speak
14. Hug them
15. Serve them in some way
16. Accept them just the way they are
17. Be honest with them (at all times even if it may hurt)
18. Point them in the right direction
19. Motivate them to be their best
20. Reward them (even with just w/ words)
“Words of encouragement can keep someone alive.”
As I give thought to what I want to continue to pursue in 2016 and what I might want to do differently, this question comes to mind:
What am I doing that has an eternal value ….. will be part of my legacy and/or contribution to this world I live in and my loved ones with whom I choose to share my life …..
Is most of what I spin my wheels on and am doing “good for nothing”?
What about YOU? Would LUV to hear thoughts on this question.
And Happy New Year to everybody and thanks for liking, sharing, and encouraging this blog!
What an interesting seminar this was for me to attend, and although much of the material was not totally new, it was a terrific refresher. It made me recognize that I MUST make some positive changes for my own life regarding wellness balance.
Among many others, these 3 points hit home for me.
- Must not take fish oils with other medications because the oil binds itself to the medication and inhibits the drug’s absorption into the body. I did not know this.
- Be willing to prune all that takes me away from my purpose and is not bearing fruit. This means I must do some serious filtering.
- Islamic “just war” doctrine specifies that warfare must be defensive and must not involve targeting civilians, women, or children. I did not know this.
Oh there is so much more that is good for all of us. Maybe I’ll put a workshop together.
I just heard a relationship statistic on the radio. A new study shows that when a man has seconds thoughts about the wedding, the marriage is not affected, BUT when a woman does, the marriage has twice the risk of ending in divorce.
HMMMMMM ….. makes me recall the eve of my first marriage and how at 2 in the morning I waltzed down the stairs to where my parents and aunts and uncles were still partying the night away and announced, “I’ll be making a giant mistake if I get married to George.” In those days, my family was a big- fat-Greek-family and everyone was going to attend. My parents paid the tab which included a sit-down dinner and 5 piece Greek band. To not follow through would be a megalo-dropi (Greek for big shame), and so my family all chimed in almost simultaneously with, “Oh you are just having normal wedding day jitters. Go back to bed and get some sleep! You will feel differently in the morning.” I didn’t …. feel differently, that is. Four months later I started to hear the apologies from my family.
I’ve always advised a friend or anybody when I hear they are getting married, “If you have second thoughts the night before the wedding, don’t do it!” I remember how my Godchild laughed when I told her that and she assured me that wouldn’t happen …. and it didn’t. Well now I have scientific data in addition to my own experience to support my case.
Can anybody relate?
Here I am again with another drug side-effect story!
For years I have been reporting a chronic cough to my doctors, and they all tell me it’s allergy related after asking me the predicted symptom questions. Take an OTC medication and use a nasal spray is what they all tell me. Uh-huh! Well why do I still have the cough even when taking an antihistamine is my question and not one of them they can answer satisfactorily.
So I decided to research any medications I am still taking again, and to my surprise (how did I miss this?) I found that a diabetes drug called Januvia has the most common side-effect of respiratory problems. Wonderful. Hmmmmm …. I gave it thought and made a plan: try going without it a few days and see what happens with the cough while monitoring my blood sugar levels carefully while doing so.
Well what do you know!?!?!?! Three days later no cough and minimal change in blood sugar levels! What the heck?!?!?! So I dropped it from my medication regimen, but after about a week, my blood sugar levels started to rise about 5-10 points/day. Last drug to research is metformin and to my surprise I discover that metformin has a time-released formula. I’m going to see my doctor today and ask for this version because my AC1 numbers are still within the safe zone of no more that 6.4. I’ll let you know what happens.
Trust me … we MUST be our own advocates for our health! Do the research and leave no rock unturned when it comes to your well-being!
We are who we are and we must learn to accept that! We vary in body frame sizes, body weight, and body shape. Oh don’t misunderstand … I am NOT suggesting that we merely sit back and sigh with “I can’t help it …. this is who I am.” NOPE! We must do the best we can to be the best we can be.
My point is that I cannot change my genetic inclinations, but I might control how I look and feel somewhat by taking responsibility for my eating and exercise habits. Now I love cookies so much so that I claim ownership to the cookie monster title! I have had to learn self-control by telling myself it’s OK to eat 3 cookies and not the entire batch. The same goes for vanilla cakes …. it’s OK to eat half of a tiny slice and save the second half for tomorrow. OH let’s laugh about my chip cravings every now and then …. a plateful vs. the entire bag …. ?!?!? HA HA! I’ve had to learn to say NO to these temptations before me every day and yes, I can do it with presence, awareness, and determination. As a matter of fact, I have an affirmation sign on the wall just in front of my desk that reads “Just because it’s here doesn’t’ meant I have to eat it!”
I’m convinced that if I do my best, my body will be at it’s appropriate size and condition for ME, and I must not compare myself to my skinny friends. Are you with me as well at this point in YOUR life?